A Newly Hatched Chic(k)

Been sick the last few days with the crud.  Not sick enough to want to stay home from my last BCF class...but sick enough to send me to bed for a couple of days afterwards.  Today...with my hair stringy, my back tired from resting, and my muscles crying out to be used again...I feel like a newly hatched chick.  Being knocked off of my normally active feet into my bed feels a lot to me like how a chick must feel trapped in an egg.  As you probably already know, a chick uses it's little beak to poke a hole through it's shell and carve perforations all around the inside of the egg.  Then with a few mighty pushes, it breaks the shell in half and emerges.  The little chick uses most of its energy just to break free from its entrapment and lays in a heap - exhausted, wet, and weak.  That's how I am after an illness knocks me off my feet. Every part of me aches a bit just from the exertion my body has been putting forth to rid me of the illness that has entrapped me.  But then a new hope dawns....somehow the beautiful miracle of healing happens inside my body and the illness starts to retreat...the shell falls away.  Somehow in that moment the day seems a little brighter and the little hope of being free from the encumbrance starts to grow and multiply until I recognize that I going to make it.  The illness will not take over this time.  All I have to do now is slowly start to get up, slowly flex my muscles, and before I know it I will be on my feet again...running and learning to fly.

The more I walk with God, the more I am realizing that my spiritual journey is the same way.  My adult life has been filled with changes and challenges.  Jeff and I have moved more times than I care to count anymore.  I've experienced the joy of meeting kindred spirits wherever I have gone, only to find out that I must steel my self once again for the pain that comes from leaving...and being forgotten.  I now realize that over the years I have learned to build a shell around myself each time I have moved.  It's a necessary barrier in order to be protected from bumps and bruises that inevitably come from being "laid" in a new place...a new nest.  After the initial incubation time, I start to poke and peck my way out of the protective barrier that also entraps me.  I emerge feeling exhausted and spent from the effort of the journey.  Somehow, I sense that people want me to be excited about where I have hatched, so I try to stand in my own strength, only to fall back down.  I try once again to get up, grumbling and complaining and focusing on where I am, and again I fall.  I cannot succeed in my own strength.  It is not until I realize that I am fragile,  a newborn baby bird unable to protect myself, that I cry out to my God, as deep cries out to deep.  Then He scoops me up in His firm strong hand, dries the sweat of exertion off, and breathes life into my nostrils.  Only then do I realize that it was He who put the protective barrier about me, who caused me to be entrapped by His love in order to bring me to a new nest so that I can emerge and learn to stand, to grow, and to soar on His wings of love. 

Why do you say, O Jacob, and assert, O Israel, "My way is hidden from the LORD, And the justice due me escapes the notice of my God"? Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth Does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. He gives strength to the weary, And to him who lacks might He increases power. Though youths grow weary and tired, And vigorous young men stumble badly, Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary. (Isaiah 40:27-31 NASB)